Gods & Monsters: The Gods & Monsters Trilogy Book 1 Read online

  He seemed unsure but smiled. “What would you like?”

  “A kiss.”

  Immediately, he shook his head and reached out to hold her face in his hands. “No, Jane. I cannot do that. I’ll give you anything else.”

  Pain tore at her chest and tears welled up in her eyes as her heart broke. This wasn’t something she had ever wanted to feel because of him. She thought he must have loved her as well.

  He held her, keeping her from pulling away. “Don’t cry.” He wiped her tears.

  She tried to hide her broken heart with a smile, but she couldn’t. “It’s you I love, and you don’t want me. I’m too ugly!”

  Death chuckled. “You are not ugly. You are the most beautiful girl I have ever seen.”

  “Then why won’t you kiss me? Do you not love me like I love you?”

  He sighed and did not answer her question as he stared down at her. However, her heart felt like it might explode as he caressed her cheek, then slid his hand behind her neck. “Just this once, Sweet Jane.”

  She nodded quickly and held her breath as he lowered his face to hers. His lips touched hers, lightly at first, and she closed her eyes as an explosion of tingles spread across her lips. Something powerful stirred deep inside her; she needed more of him. It felt right for his lips to be against hers. Any fear she’d had over rejection faded from her mind and with complete love and trust, she pressed her lips against his.

  He kissed back.

  It was sweet. He held her close, one hand on the back of her neck while his other hand found its place at the small of her back, but she needed more.

  She slid her hands up and gripped his strong shoulders in fear that he’d end their kiss too soon. Then she took the bold leap and licked his lips.

  He hesitated but suddenly tilted her head back and pushed her mouth open with his. He met her tongue with his, quickly leading her in the most incredible kiss she’d ever dreamed of.

  She sighed and wrapped her hands around his neck, lightly caressing his hair. All that mattered now was him. Them. She needed more and, thrilling her, he seemed to need her just as much.

  A possessive rumble sounded from his throat and without warning, he lifted her up, guiding her legs around his waist as he squeezed her thigh while his other hand slid down her spine.

  She clung to him, not willing to part. They had to be closer. The constant yearning for more of him took over her actions as he carried her to the bed.

  He sat down with her straddling him and groaned when she rolled her hips. A throbbing sensation between her legs became too much for her. She’d never felt such a need before. Instinct made her move to relieve the beautiful ache at her center. She knew they were meant to be together this way. There would be no convincing her otherwise.

  Jane gasped for air, but Death didn’t move away. He turned his assault to her neck. His lips left shocks across her skin. She felt like she was vibrating from the tingles as they went everywhere. They seeped into her pores, and she still couldn’t get enough.

  Death slid his tongue up her neck, sucking hard below her jaw before he worked his way back down. He squeezed her waist while he held her neck to keep her where he wanted her. She felt how much he wanted her now. She’d felt a boy between her legs before, but Death was different. She needed to give him all of her. She wanted to give him everything.

  Rolling her hips, she moaned. She didn’t want him to deny her; she wanted him to take her. She wanted to be his in every way.

  She didn’t mean to say it out loud, but she did. “I love you, Death.”

  He stopped his kisses and pulled back. His expression was peaceful as he stared into her eyes, and he smiled.

  She began to smile back, but his smile fell, and he pulled her arms off his neck. She didn’t know what to say and sat quietly as he held her face between his hands. He kissed her sweetly and sighed, leaving his lips touching hers for a few seconds before moving back.

  The most affectionate look was on his face. “My beautiful, Sweet Jane, you mean so much to me. I want you to know that I will always do everything in my power to protect you.”

  She had nodded and smiled. “I know you will.”

  He wore a strained smile as the green in his eyes dulled slightly. “I want you to be happy. I cannot give you a happy life. I am Death—I can only bring you sorrow. So, from this point on, you will forget me. You will go on with your life and find love.”

  She had frantically tried to shake his hands off her face, but he had been too strong.

  “I’ll never be far,” he had said. She had wanted to scream and cry. “Live, Sweet Jane.” He then placed a final kiss to her lips and removed her memory of him.

  “Even though you took yourself from me, I don’t think I really forgot you.” She pulled her head back from his shoulder to look at him.

  Death smiled. “I guess I lost my touch, then.”

  She touched the side of his face. So beautiful. “No, you didn’t lose your touch. I don’t think we were meant to part. I loved you then, and I love you now.”

  A torn smile formed on Death’s lips, and he pulled her by the neck to him to kiss her softly. When he pulled back, he pressed his forehead to hers. “And I love you, Sweet Jane.” She closed her eyes and smiled. What she felt to finally hear him say those words could not be expressed in even the most beautiful of words. “I don’t deserve your love, though,” he added. “I have done something terrible.”

  She opened her eyes. “I will always love you.”

  He kissed her nose and pulled back. “It’s my fault this entity inside you came forward. I had already been with you most of the time. When the plague spread here, I came to check on you. It had already arrived on your street, so I pushed worry into your thoughts to get you inside your home. I urged you to get the bag from the soldiers, gave you the push to be the person I knew you always wanted to be. My little warrior.” She smiled softly, but anxiety had her breathing faster.

  “I wanted to stay with you, but I left to get news I’d been waiting on. Then I realized you’d been infected and returned. I was shocked to see the knights already guarding your home, so I waited to see their intentions. That’s when I realized David had recognized you as his Other. I had intended on finding a way to keep the infection from spreading too far until I could have you cured, because I could not cure you myself. But I knew the immortal’s blood would neutralize the infection, so I stepped back and let David change you.”

  Jane gaped at him, but he was speaking before she could voice any comment. “I missed you. Whispering to you and letting you feel my presence is nothing compared to truly holding you in my arms. So, when I saw the chance that you would be immortal, I let it happen. I knew your transition would take time, so I left to figure out why the plague kept coming closer to you. I knew David would guard you with his life, but I did not expect that he’d take you to hunt werewolves.”

  “I was supposed to die again,” she said, touching her chest.

  “You are on borrowed time, Jane. I felt the injury you received as if it were my own. When I wiped your memory, I bonded with you. I should have done it much sooner—it would have prevented so much of your pain, but I did not think it was right or necessary. When you received the injury from the infected wolf, I had to think fast. I knew now it was no coincidence that we met when you were younger. If you were fated to be David’s mate, you had an important role to play on Earth.”

  “What did you do, Death?”

  He kissed her forehead. “Don’t hate me. I came up with a plan to make you mine. I did not think about how much it would hurt you or any other consequences—I only wanted you back.” Death caressed her jaw with his thumb. “I could not take you with me as you were, though. Your soul was still too innocent. I needed some way to balance you between light and dark.”

  “So what was your plan?”

  “When you had fallen in battle, I arrived the same moment Lucifer had. I assumed he was merely there because of Lancelot, but h
e could not take his eyes off you. I saw him as my opportunity to introduce darkness into your soul. I proposed that for me to let you live, they allow Lucifer to give you his blood. I knew he would want something in return, and I made a wager that if you became neutral, I would claim you. If you fell to darkness, you’d follow Lucifer. If your soul and heart stayed pure, we would leave you be. I assumed because you were so good, it would balance you between good and evil, and I could quickly claim you for all time after I returned your memories.”

  “You had me drink Lucifer’s blood?” She stared at him in shock.

  “Jane, I did not think he had a chance. If Lucifer saw that you meant something to me, he would become more obsessed with you. If I spared you without Michael and Gabriel stepping in, it would have given me away. Even if rumor spreads in Heaven, Luc will hear of it. He has always had a strong dislike for me. If he saw I had a weakness, he’d destroy it. I did what I thought gave you the best chance. I did not realize there was already something dark inside you. Lucifer’s blood set it free from the cage you’d trapped it in.”

  She couldn’t process everything, but she understood his panic and desire. “You bet my soul with Lucifer?”

  “I never meant to hurt you. I only wanted you back.” His tormented voice broke Jane. He was the first man she had ever loved, the only person who continuously comforted and protected her—no matter how many times he’d left, he always returned.

  “What happens if I don’t become neutral?”

  “If you stay in the light, David technically wins, and we leave you alone.” He scowled, which actually made her smile for a moment. He nuzzled her cheek. “If you fall to darkness, you would be so evil that you would follow Lucifer without question. He won’t win. Even if I have to lose to David, I will. If Luc manages to take you, I will destroy every world and being in existence until I have you back.”

  “Oh, Death.” She held his face and pressed a kiss to his lips, loving so much that he allowed her such intimacy. “You always became so volatile when it came to something happening to me.”

  His lips turned up against hers. “You’re all I have, Sweet Jane.”

  She wrapped her arms around his neck and mumbled against his skin. “I know I should be angry with you, but I forgive you. I think I’m incapable of being upset with you, actually. Besides, we’ll figure this out, and I know you will do everything you can to keep me safe. Whatever happens though, please, don’t make me forget you.”

  “I will never do that to you again.” Death held her back by the shoulders as his gaze drifted over her face. She smiled sleepily, and he rewarded her with a chuckle. “You’re tired, Jane. I took a lot of energy from you. I’m surprised you’re still awake.”

  “I’m not ready to go to sleep,” she said, pouting her lips. He laughed softly and lifted her up before he moved toward the headboard. This made her drowsiness vanish. “What are you doing? Are you leaving?”

  “No,” he said quickly. “I just want you to rest. It will help you remain in control of your emotions. I realize you nearly bled Gareth dry, but I did take most of your energy.”

  Jane relaxed and let him lay her down on the bed. Before he could pull away, though, she pulled his hand and scooted to the center of the bed. She tugged on his hand and gave him her best puppy dog eyes. “Please sleep with me. You can’t remind me I nearly killed my friend and walk away.”

  He grinned and sat next to her. “He’s a tough boy. He’ll gloat about it for years.”

  “Shut up.” She smiled and helped him remove his jacket before tossing it to the edge of the bed. She grinned, excited for them to do such a normal thing, and pushed him down on the pillows. Within seconds, she was snuggled up to his side with her head on his chest.

  His arm that was behind her head, pulled her closer. “You haven’t changed at all.” He chuckled and caressed her arm with his fingertips.

  Tingles.

  She sighed and soaked up the comfort he offered, but a sad thought came over her. “Do you remember Wendy?”

  He continued caressing her arm. “Yes.”

  She hesitated, but this was eating at her. “You took her?”

  “Yes. I took her. I came for her myself.”

  “She was my only friend.” Her throat ached.

  “I know. Everyone has their time, though—and that was hers.”

  “Couldn’t you have waited? She didn’t want to die.”

  “Jane, my sweet, beautiful girl—I want nothing more than to see you happy, but humans must pass from this world to the next. That is why your lives are so precious.”

  She swallowed nervously before asking a question she feared but needed an answer to. “Do you know where she is?”

  Death pulled her a little closer and placed a kiss on her head. “She waits in Neverland, Jane.”

  Any attempt to hold herself together failed. Her face scrunched up, and she sobbed. She realized where Death would have pulled those words from. He really had been there all along. She’d told Wendy she believed people came from stardust, and they returned to the stars when they die. They went to Neverland.

  “I do not mean to change the subject from myself,” Death said, making her laugh out the last of her cries. He chuckled and tilted her face up. “But you’re going to have to feed soon. As much as I hate to say it, you must go to David for that.”

  “Can’t I feed from you? I don’t think I can face him anytime soon. He’s too good. Everything is overwhelming with him, but I know I don’t want to hurt him. He’s probably so mad at me. I won’t be able to take him looking at me like I’m evil.” Her heart throbbed, but she nodded to herself. “Yes, I’d much rather feed from you. It’ll be better for everyone.”

  “I don’t drink blood, Jane. I’m not human or a vampire. I can transfer energy to you, but you need blood and real food. You cannot feed from me.”

  “What do you eat?”

  Chuckling, he asked, “What do you think? I’m Death.”

  “You feed on souls?”

  “Of course.” He grinned, laughing. “A soul gives me energy. The things I do—just like you—require energy. A soul is the ultimate energy drink.” Her nose crinkled up, and he smiled. “Don’t make that face. You’re the one who drinks blood.”

  “It’s not like I want to. Do souls taste good? Are bad people gross?”

  “I wouldn’t really call it a taste, like you would. More like a drug, if anything. There are bitter and sweet souls. Some are very weak, and some surge through my system for days. The wicked are most addicting.” He smirked. “You taste the best, though. Sweet. Mouthwatering. I will never kick my Jane Addiction.” He chuckled and pulled her face to his and kissed her cheek which felt incredibly hot. “I’m teasing you. But you do taste good—perfect amount of sweetness. I could spend every day with your taste on my tongue.”

  Her face was still red, and he chuckled as he pulled her head back to his chest. Jane blew out a deep breath to rid herself of embarrassment and giddiness. She wiggled a bit as she hitched her leg over Death’s waist. His hand went to her thigh immediately and began to lightly rub it, relaxing her.

  “I know we’ve always cuddled, but do you think it’s wrong?” she asked.

  “It’s not wrong. Most likely our bond urges you to be close to me.”

  “I don’t think that’s it,” she said. “I’ve always been comfortable with you. It’s like you’re supposed to be with me. Like we are supposed to touch. Do you feel the same?”

  “Yes. I have always felt the urge to be physically connected with you in some way. More than physically, actually—but touching you helps calm my need. Obviously, when you were a child, it wasn’t sexual, but I was confused by my desire to be so close to you. We had not even bonded then, so you might be right; it might be something else.”

  “Is it different for you now? How you want to be close to me?”

  His hand squeezed her thigh. “Definitely. You’re a woman now. I want to feel and taste every inch of you.” />
  Her heart beat fast. “I really meant what I said. If you hadn’t left, I wouldn’t be with anyone else. But now I’m so confused.”

  “I know. I can almost hear you fighting your thoughts because you’re ashamed and sad for David and Jason.”

  “But you’re back,” she said.

  “I never left, babe. But, yes, I’m back. I must accept the fact that David and Jason were possible because I stood back and did nothing when you needed me.”

  “You did what you thought was best for me.”

  “With Jason, yes. I wanted you to live a normal life and did not accept what I felt for you. That wasn’t the case with David. With him, I saw an opportunity to gain what I wanted.”

  “I don’t want to talk about this anymore,” she quickly whispered. It hurt her to compare Death, David, and Jason while worrying over Death’s bet with Lucifer. She also refused to paint Death as the bad guy.

  “Nor do I.”

  She sighed and tried to think of something to change their mood. “I still can’t believe I did all that to David. And you were there! I’m so horrible. A freaking hoe!”

  Death laughed loudly. “You are not a hoe, Jane.” He laughed again. “A sexy tease, definitely. But not a hoe.” She giggled, remembering this silliness with him. “And I don’t think horribly of you,” he added. “It was sexy as hell. Got me hard and everything. And now I have two memories of hot make-out sessions with you. One wasn’t the real you, but still—it was hot. Makes me wish I had one of those mobile phones to record it.”

  All she could imagine was Death posting them kissing on social media. She wondered if he ever got embarrassed and decided to tease him for once. “You know, Death,” she said in the most seductive tone she could manage and looked up at him. “When I said that you were in my dreams—” His eyes burned while he stared down at her. She had to wet her lips to make sure she could form words again. “Our make-out sessions were a lot more intense than that. There was always less clothing, too. Well, you made sure I was in as little as possible, but I never put up a fight. There’s just something about the way you’d rip off my bra and panties that had me—”