Gods & Monsters: The Gods & Monsters Trilogy Book 1 Page 19

  Their closeness ended all too soon though when David placed her down on the bed. His fingers seemed to linger for a bit longer against her arm as he pulled the blankets up over her, and she briefly wished she could find some excuse for him to keep touching her.

  “I changed the sheets while you were showering.” He pulled his hand away. “I need to make your meal. I want you to rest until I get back.”

  She nodded eagerly at hearing that she was finally getting fed.

  David chuckled and quickly placed a kiss on the top of her head. “I’ll be right back. Call if you need anything. After you eat, I will give you more pain medicine.” He moved back and exited the room without another word.

  Jane stared after him for a bit before closing her eyes and relaxing into the pillows. The pain was still there, but now that she wasn’t moving, it was tolerable.

  She tried to process everything, but she was still too consumed with David to care. She let go of her worries and inhaled his scent that lingered on his shirt. Instantly, images flashed in her mind of her naked and in David’s arms.

  His lips and tongue tasted her skin while an animal like growl rumbled within his chest. He roughly pulled her against his perfect body and nudged her legs apart with his knee.

  A startled gasp left her lips, and she opened her eyes. Her breaths were ragged as she looked around to make sure she was still alone. Jane shook her head; she should not be thinking that way. Something was wrong with her if she was imagining that at a time like this.

  Tears stung her eyes as she mentally insulted herself for lusting after David. Everything felt so right but was so wrong. She was an awful person.

  An intense fatigue swept over her suddenly, and the panic and hatred washed away, and her mind numbed. She heard a man chuckle, but the sound seemed more a part of her mind than an actual laugh. That didn’t make sense, though. She figured she must just be sleepy. It was probably someone laughing downstairs.

  Satisfied with her resolution, she sighed and fell asleep.

  THIRTY MINUTES AFTER DAVID LEFT JANE, he quietly reentered her room. He’d been listening to her vitals since he left and knew, by the steady rhythm of her heartbeat and her slow breaths, she had fallen asleep almost shortly after he’d gone downstairs.

  David smiled as he took in how comfortable she looked sleeping. It was hard to watch her in pain after everything he’d watched her go through. He knew she didn’t want to ask for help, but Bedivere had told him she was struggling with simply moving her arms. While he wanted to respect her privacy, he would have walked into the shower to get her if he needed to. Hopefully, she’d let him take care of her because it would still take a while for her to gain strength back, and healing would take most of her energy during this process.

  David walked toward the dresser with the tray of food but before he placed it down, he noticed the nonsense items sitting there had fallen over, and many had moved significantly in Jane’s direction.

  He glanced over his shoulder and sighed when he saw her still sleeping. She looked like an angel. Nothing looked out of place with her. There were no warning flags telling him she was a threat—but she was.

  When he’d been helping her dress, he’d seen a beast trying to surface. She wasn’t an ordinary immortal, and he didn’t know what to think of her differences yet. Arthur hadn’t been there to discuss what he’d seen. Her eyes had turned black. Even the whites of her eyes had been drowned in darkness. Damned immortals didn’t even eyes like hers.

  The shock of her eye color wasn’t the only thing worrying his heart. The sudden pressure that had surrounded his body while he watched her look more demon than angel had been so powerful he nearly collapsed under it. Only when the furniture shifted in her direction had it let up, and Jane seemed to come out of whatever trance she’d been in. Still, it proved to him she was more powerful than he initially believed.

  He let out a breath. This was too much for him to contemplate right now. All that mattered to him was that she was awake and mending. She was still his Jane. No matter what was different about her, he loved her.

  As he continued to watch her, stress over their no doubt complicated future melted away. He grinned when she suddenly sniffed the air. He knew she liked the way he smelled, she’d taken his scent countless times already without even realizing it. Maybe it comforted her. That was why he’d given her his shirt to wear. Plus, he enjoyed having his scent all over her.

  Even if she wasn’t his all the way, he wanted others to know he was there. It was also a welcome sight to see her in his clothes. It was a display of how feminine she was, and though she could fight with the best of them, he hoped she would eventually see him as a man who was big and strong for her.

  Jane let out a sigh and shifted. He didn’t want to disturb her while she was so relaxed, but he did want her to eat. She had been very hungry, so he didn’t feel too bad about walking over and taking a seat next to her.

  “Jane, it’s time to eat.”

  She didn’t stir in the slightest. In fact, she smiled and looked more at ease than before. He leaned over her and placed his hand on her other side by her waist. As he stared down at her face, he wondered if he would ever be able to wake her up with a kiss. He shouldn’t be thinking about kissing her; it only made their situation harder to bear, but he could dream.

  Jane’s eyes suddenly opened, and she beamed up at him.

  He chuckled and watched her shiver. He knew she had been trying to hide her reactions to him, but he’d seen the way she would bite her lip and how her skin would flush or prickle whenever he spoke or, especially, when he laughed.

  “I guess I dozed off there for a bit,” she said with a slightly dazed expression.

  “That’s good,” he said, wanting so badly to lean down and kiss her. “But you need to eat now; I made us breakfast. Sit up. I don’t want you getting out of bed yet.”

  She took his hand as he held it out for her, grinning as she pouted her lips. “I don’t have to eat in bed.”

  He chuckled but continued helping her get situated. Her personality was showing more now, and it was clear she wasn’t used to someone taking care of her. Too bad, sweetheart. “I know you do not have to eat in bed. I just thought we could have breakfast privately, so we can get to know more about each other.”

  “Oh, yes. I’d like that.” She smiled, blushing as his hand grazed her side.

  “Perfect.” David fetched the tray of food.

  “You made this?” she asked, looking at the plates in his hands.

  He nodded and handed her the one he’d made for her. It contained Belgian waffles, eggs, bacon and orange juice; Gareth had told him she ate well with them, so he hoped she’d eat his food.

  “Where did you get all of this?” She moaned but quickly quieted herself with an embarrassed smile. “Sorry. It’s just really good.”

  He chuckled before answering. “I am glad you like it. To answer your question, we came with a large supply of food and receive air drops with new rations every two weeks. Gawain had waffle mix stashed for himself, but I don’t think he’ll mind sharing with you—you need something filling.”

  She only nodded, and although she glanced up somewhat embarrassed a few times, she ate energetically. He didn’t know why she was embarrassed about eating; a good appetite meant she was feeling better.

  He cleared his throat. “So tell me something about yourself.”

  “What do you want to know?”

  “Anything. Perhaps we can start off with simple facts like your birthday, favorite color, or your family?” Her eyes grew fearful when he said the word family. “Or something else.”

  “No, it’s fine,” she said, but her gaze darting around the room as if she were looking for a way to escape suggested she was anything but fine. Surprisingly, though, she took a big breath and answered one of his questions. “My birthday is December ninth. When’s yours?”

  “December twenty-third,” he answered.

  “We’re Christmas
babies.” She smiled. “Okay… Oh, my favorite color is green. And I guess you already know I’m married. His name is Jason.”

  She looked up at him, a worried frown forming on her mouth. It was the most difficult reality David had to accept about her, but he would deal with anything when it came to Jane.

  David gave her a small smile. “Yes. I know you are married.”

  She didn’t stop frowning but carried on. “We met my junior year of high school. He’s a year older than me, but we stayed together even after he graduated. I didn’t have that many friends. He was kinda all I really had besides my best friend, Wendy.”

  She looked sad, and he wondered why she didn’t have friends or why she rushed out her friend’s name, but she was speaking again before he could think on it further.

  “After I graduated, I moved in with Jason at the apartment he shared with a few guys from college. I didn’t like being around them, but he didn’t want me staying at my house anymore.” Jane fidgeted and kept her eyes down.

  “Why would he not want that?” he asked.

  Jane shook her head. “I’ll tell you that in a minute. Anyway, we were growing apart. He wanted to go out all the time, and I didn’t like to. I didn’t like being around all the drinking, and that’s all his friends ever did.” She shrugged. “I thought it would be better if we broke up since he seemed to want that kind of lifestyle. He’d get in arguments with his friends whenever they’d talk to me for too long. There were a few that I sort of bonded with, but Jason said they just wanted to get in my pants. I just liked talking to a few of them. One guy had some issues I could relate with, but Jason hated him. He made me choose between him and his friend. I chose Jason.”

  “That’s not fair, Jane. I understand his fears about another man, but he shouldn’t have made you choose.”

  “I know, but I didn’t want to hurt him. Everything was good with us after that, but he went back to staying out all night and coming home drunk. He’d say he only had one beer, and I was paranoid. I started thinking I must be holding him back from fun because he would stay with me sometimes—then I’d see him with his friends when they’d tell him about all the crazy stuff that happened, and I could see he wished he’d gone with them.”

  She sighed and covered her face. “I don’t know why I’m telling you all this. I’m sorry.”

  “There’s no reason to be sorry. I want to know whatever you want to tell me.”

  “I haven’t had anyone to talk to in a while,” she murmured. “I guess I got carried away. You can tell me about you if you want. I really don’t have an exciting life or anything special to say. I just haven’t had anyone.”

  He smiled sadly. “You can talk to me, sweetheart. I want to know you.”

  “Really?”

  David wanted to hug her, she looked so nervous. “I am positive.”

  “Okay. But tell me if I’m boring you—I don’t mind.” She eyed him for a second before she took a deep breath. “Okay, so Jason and I—I think things would have ended between us eventually, but I got pregnant. Jason wasn’t thrilled, but he was supportive and we got married.”

  David’s heart felt pained, but he kept his face relaxed as she kept talking.

  “We moved out and three months into the pregnancy, we found out we were having fraternal twins, a boy and a girl. I was actually excited even though I was terrified I’d be a horrible mom. They came out healthy, though.

  “Well, Nathan has autism, but he’s perfect to me. He’s just different. He loves to learn about animals, dinosaurs, and movie monsters. I don’t know much about dinosaurs, but I love animals and nature, so I like to help nurture his interest in them.”

  David grinned at finally hearing her speak passionately. Her eyes had lit up, and despite a continuous flicker of fear in them, she smiled.

  “Natalie is a funny little girl,” she said. “I never really baby-talked either of them, so I think that’s why she’s like a little grown-up when she addresses people. Everyone says she looks just like me, but I see Jason when I look at her. She’s a lot like him, too—very carefree and social. She cares for her brother a lot; I adore that about her. I don’t think Nathan would be as able and high functioning as he is now, if it weren’t for her.”

  “They sound perfect,” David said. “I wish I could meet them.”

  “I wish you could meet them, too. I think they’d like you.”

  “They are doing okay, you know,” he said. Jane looked at him, confused, so he explained. “Two of our men have kept a constant watch over your house. Dagonet, one of the guards, refuses to leave his post next door, even during daylight when he is susceptible to damage. When you were hurt, Arthur sent him along with Gawain to your house with supplies.”

  She gaped at him. David took her hand in his. “They’re all right, Jane. Dagonet picked up that they were looking for toys and went to find a toy for each of them. He really likes them.”

  “Thank you so much,” she said, nearly sobbing. “Nathan probably can’t find his dinosaurs.”

  David smiled sadly. “I believe it was a dinosaur toy Dagonet found for him.” She looked ready to cry. “We will always be there for them.” David was nervous talking about her children. He had noticed she’d been avoiding bringing them up as much as possible, but he could tell this news brought her relief.

  To keep their conversation going, he asked another question that had been plaguing him. “What about your parents? Are they close by?”

  Her posture tensed. Arthur had told him her past was unpleasant, but he didn’t think it would have anything to do with her family.

  “My parents?” She fidgeted again, not looking at him.

  Whatever her past involved must have been more traumatic than he had imagined. David removed the tray from her lap and put it back on the dresser. He was back at her side the moment a tear fell to her lap.

  He cupped her face between his hands to make her look at him. What he saw there made his heart ache. So much pain. So much sorrow.

  “Sh, sweetheart,” he said, wiping her tears. “It’s all right. We don’t have to talk about it.”

  “No, it’s okay.” She sniffed. “I just haven’t talked about them in a long time. You deserve to know.” She broke eye contact with him. “You should know what I am.”

  David frowned. What does she mean by that? “You don’t have to tell me if it hurts to speak about it.”

  Jane smiled sadly. “I know, but it’s okay.”

  He smoothed her hair away from her face, then leaned back. Before he could move all the way, she grabbed his hand. He caressed the back of her hand with his thumb, happy that she was at least seeking him out for comfort on her own.

  “My mom’s name was Sarah,” she said softly, and David’s heart already hurt for her. Was.

  Jane carried on without pausing. “She met my dad, Eric, in college. They got married when they were both twenty and had me five months later. They had my little brother Jack when I was two. We were the kind of family you’d see on TV shows or something. Perfect. I loved my baby brother so much. I liked to pretend I was his mom.” She shut her eyes tight, trembling.

  David shifted so that he sat with his back against the headboard, then easily lifted her so she was sideways on his lap. Since she didn’t protest, he wrapped his arms around her. She leaned her head against his shoulder.

  Though he was thinking out his actions, he could tell she wasn’t. Not once had she looked to him.

  “We were on our way to my ballet practice. I really don’t know much about how it happened, but we were spinning suddenly. My mom was screaming for my dad and then it was all a blur, and green. I remember green. There wasn’t anything after that. I woke up alone in a hospital. They were gone, all of them. I was only five and no one was there with me. It was the doctor who told me. He told me they died on impact, and that they hadn’t felt any pain.

  “He said my aunt would be there soon to take me with her. I didn’t know her, really. I vaguely remembered arg
uments between her and my mom, but that was it. When she got there, I had to go with her. She said something about how the money better be worth dealing with me. I didn’t understand at the time what she meant, but I realized as I got older, she only took me in because of some stipulation in my parents’ will about receiving personal funds to care for me.”

  David rubbed his hand up and down her arm. It hurt him to know she had lost a family that clearly adored her, and she had to go with a greedy family member, but as awful as that was, he could tell she had a lot more to say.

  “Aunt Katherine was my mom’s older sister. They were ten years apart, I think. I realized quite early on the reason why I didn’t know her: she hated my mom. She made sure I knew it, too. She made sure I understood that I was not wanted in her home.”

  She moved a little on him, so he squeezed and tried to let her feel that he was still there.

  She started up again. “Anyway, I went home with her after the funeral and met Uncle Stephen and my cousins. Stephen Jr. was three years older than me, and Adam was four years older.” Her voice had an edge to it upon uttering Stephen’s name.

  “I kinda liked the idea of having older brothers. I just wanted someone to care for me, and my aunt clearly didn’t.

  “Everything was fine in the beginning. I missed my family, obviously, but Stephen and I got close. He always tried to take my mind off things. My aunt and uncle completely ignored me, but I was fine with it. Adam was nice, but he wasn’t around much. I figured I’d be okay as long as I had Stephen.

  “But after maybe two years of living there, Stephen changed. He was still nice, but something seemed off with him. I was little, but I remember thinking this. I’ve remembered everything since my parents died.” Her head tilted to the side at the last part she mentioned. He thought it was strange, too. Some head injuries caused people to lose memories, not gain the ability to retain everything.

  Jane spoke again. “I thought he was being overly protective. Kinda like how a big brother on TV is mean to boys around his sister. But I was wrong.