Gods & Monsters: The Gods & Monsters Trilogy Book 1 Read online

  Then the thought came to her that Death must not have planned on winning now. He had walked away, left her without any reassurance that he was going to make sure Lucifer didn’t win her. Why? Because he saw what Lucifer and Lancelot did: a demon.

  “Jane,” David whispered. “You can tell me anything.”

  “I want to see my children,” she said, not sure why she’d blurted that out. Now that she had said it, though, she needed to confirm they were safe with her own eyes. “Please, David.”

  “I’ll figure something out.” He kissed her temple. “Just don’t let anything he said get to you. Believe in me, okay?”

  Jane wrapped her arms around David’s neck and curled into him, only now realizing she was shaking.

  David pulled back to look into her eyes. He was looking at her like she was a bomb ready to explode. “It’s finally eating you up to be away from them, isn’t it?” She stayed quiet, and he spoke again. “Jane, if I take you to your home, you have to understand that you cannot go inside. I have sat there; you can hear them, but there is no way to see inside.”

  “David.” Gawain’s warning tone didn’t go unnoticed as he ran up beside them.

  David glared at him. “She needs this. It will keep destroying her if we keep her away.”

  Gawain looked from David to her. “You are not in control of yourself, Jane. Can you not feel—”

  David snarled and pulled her against him. “She’s fine!”

  Gawain stared at them and shook his head. “This is a mistake.”

  “I only want to make sure they’re okay,” she said.

  Gawain sighed. “You say that now, but it will be different for you once you get there. Wait until you are calm, Jane. You do not see how you look right now. Did you look at what you did to that wolf?”

  She covered her face as David stopped walking and raised his voice. “She fought in hopes of saving that child.”

  “David, you know that’s not what you saw,” Gawain muttered sadly, and she cried. “I adore you, Jane, but you are not in control of yourself. You are a threat to your children if you go near them now.”

  “Leave,” David snarled. “Get the fuck away from us unless you want to anger me more.”

  Jane sobbed, she felt Gawain would always back her up. But even he saw how evil she was, and it broke her heart.

  “David, calm down,” said Tristan. “You will not help the situation if you grow upset yourself.”

  David breathed out harshly and hugged her, but she could not feel any comfort. She remembered how monstrous she looked in the mirror that first night. That was still her.

  “Enough of this, David,” Gareth snapped. “You know you are not thinking rationally. Let us bury the children and then we can discuss helping Jane see that her son and daughter are safe. Now let’s get back to camp. She is growing more unstable with our arguing.”

  Jane lifted her head and snarled, baring her fangs at the young knight.

  David quickly pulled her head to his chest and turned them away from the knights’ surprised gazes. “Shh…” He kissed her forehead over and over. “Jane, my Jane…. Stay with me, baby. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.” She didn’t know what she thought anymore, but as he pulled back and searched her face with concerned eyes, she cried, feeling incredibly exhausted. “I see you, Jane. Just stay, baby. Let me see your pretty eyes—your beautiful face. Not hers.”

  She whimpered and let him hold her close. “I’m sorry.”

  He sighed and spoke to the knights still standing behind him. “Go. We will be there soon.”

  “Are you sure, David?” Gawain asked. In her mind, she could almost hear the silent addition: she might hurt you.

  “I’m sure,” David replied, sounding much calmer than he had been. There were a few sighs followed by footsteps leading away.

  “What are we doing, David?” she asked as he continued to stand there.

  He started walking in the opposite direction from where the knights had gone. “Going somewhere where we can calm down together.” She glanced around as he picked up his pace and tightened her grip as he entered a wooded area.

  “David, you should listen to them,” she murmured, staring at the side of his face. “I’m not safe.”

  He spoke quietly. “I don’t care if it is not safe to be around you—I will still love you. And I will help you fight whatever threatens to destroy you.” He nuzzled her head as she cried and leaned against him. “Even if it’s you who is destroying you, baby.”

  She sobbed and wrapped her arm around him and buried her face in his neck as he quickly rearranged her so that her legs were around his waist.

  He didn’t stop walking, and she didn’t stop crying. He simply carried her through the wooded area, letting his shirt become wet with her tears. She didn’t deserve him. He was too perfect. An urge to protect him from everything that she was overwhelmed her, but his hand spreading heat along her back where he rubbed her beckoned her to just stay.

  “We are almost there,” he said, sliding his forearm under her butt so he could push a branch away with his other hand. “Don’t fall asleep yet.” He paused and sniffed the air, then turned a different way. “It’s up here.”

  “What is?” She turned her head as they walked out into a clearing and gasped.

  “Take a swim with me.” He kissed her cheek and carried her closer to the creek. “There’s no one around for miles. It’s just us. We can wash away some of this blood and go back later.”

  She looked away from the water. It wasn’t a magical lagoon or anything, but it was pretty. It reminded her of a creek she’d gone to as a child with her family. The water was shallow, but there was a small waterfall that flowed into a deeper area. “You want to swim?”

  He glanced at the water. “I want to be with you and pretend there’s nothing wrong for just a little while. I want it to just be us, no one else.”

  At that moment, that’s all she wanted too. “Okay.”

  David smiled and lowered her onto a boulder. He helped her remove her sword and holsters. Once she was free of weapons, he stepped back and removed his own, placing them on the ground next to hers.

  He came back to her and untied her boots. She felt her body growing hotter but stayed quiet, watching him concentrate on what he was doing. He said nothing as he pulled her boots and socks off. He turned and leaned against the rock she was on and bent over to untie his boots. Jane bit her lip, admiring his wide back. She could see his muscles flexing through his shirt and remembered when she’d seen him shirtless.

  “Do you want me to close my eyes?”

  She glanced at his face and melted under his tender gaze. “I—”

  He grinned and pushed himself away from the rock, then quickly tugged his shirt over his head. Her mouth fell open, and he went for his pants. “Close your mouth, baby.” She snapped her mouth shut and glared at his smiling face. He chuckled and pushed down his black pants, leaving him in a pair of black boxer-briefs. “Don’t run off. Take off whatever you want and come in, okay? Don’t make yourself uncomfortable. We are just going to rinse off and relax for a while.”

  “Okay,” she whispered, trying to only look at his face.

  “Okay,” he said, turning to walk to the water. He jumped into the deeper end without hesitation and swam closer to the waterfall where he seemed to be able to stand. “Hurry up, Jane.”

  She watched him stick his arm under the running water, then looked down at herself. She’d completely forgotten that she practically bathed in the blood of those two werewolves. It had dried on her clothes and arms.

  She gasped, noticing red blood from the little boy staining her fingers. Her breath sped up, and her eyes burned.

  “You coming, baby?”

  She looked up to see David in the water. He had his back to her, but she could tell he wanted to turn. He was still a gentleman even though he’d seen her almost completely naked before.

  Jane smiled sadly and tugged off her shirt. “I’m coming.”
>
  JANE HAD NEVER BEEN THE GREATEST SWIMMER, and she was disappointed when she realized her new immortality hadn’t improved her ability to look graceful in the water. Her small stature didn’t help either because she couldn’t stand in the rushing water where David was.

  “Do you need help?” He chuckled, turning around once she was close to him. She was ready to refuse, but all that went out the door when his fingers slid around her hand, and he pulled her close to him. David smiled, sliding his hand down her side. She shivered, and he grinned again as he guided her legs around his waist and held one of her thighs. “Is this okay?”

  She nodded and placed her hands on his shoulders while he used his free hand to wipe her face.

  “Do I look bad?” she asked.

  “No.” He dipped his hand in the water and reached back up to rub her face again. “You look sad.”

  “I don’t look like her?”

  He looked at her eyes and shook his head, his dark hair that had been slicked back from the water fell across his forehead. “I see you, Jane.”

  She smiled and went to push his hair back when she noticed her hands dripping with blood. “Oh!” She dunked them in the water over and over until David stopped her.

  “Relax.” He carried her closer to the waterfall. “This is not your blood this time.” He held her arm under the flowing water. “It’s not the blood from one of our comrades—”

  She cut him off. “But it is from the little boy I failed to save.”

  He gave her a stern look. “It’s from the child you ran off to save by yourself. I have no doubt you would have given your life for him if it meant he could be saved.”

  She sighed and looked at the flowing water as he cleaned her hand in it. “Why are you so good?”

  He chuckled and turned them so he could wash her other hand. “I’m only this way for you, Jane.”

  She smiled and looked back at him. “I think you must always be good, though. Not like me.”

  “Do you always see yourself so negatively?”

  “Don’t you?” she snapped. He didn’t respond, so she went on. “What did you and the others see, David? Why was Gawain so worried?” He still stayed quiet. “I’ll tell you why. He saw what I am! Evil.”

  “Baby, you are not evil.” He lifted his hand and held the back of her neck so she couldn’t look away. “You are everything right in my world—everything I’ve waited my entire life for.”

  Jane could barely concentrate with him touching her, but she managed to respond. “I know you think I’m your soul mate and some savior of mankind who will end the darkness in the world, but I don’t think I’m any of those things. And I think, deep down, you know that, too.” Her eyes watered. “If you knew what was after me, what I see in my head, you’d agree.” Her lips trembled, and she whined, “And you would leave me; you’d regret ever meeting me.”

  David pulled her head to his shoulder. “No, Jane. I cherish the night I found you and every moment since then. I would never leave you, and I do not think any of that.”

  She cried against his shoulder. “You don’t know what’s happening.”

  “What’s happening, baby?”

  She squeezed her eyes tight as sobs wracked her body. There was no way she could tell him about Lucifer. There was no way she could tell him how much she loved and needed Death, but desired to have him all to herself, too. She couldn’t say how awful she felt for being in his arms right now when her husband mourned her death alongside her children.

  “Jane,” he murmured, taking them out to the calmer water. “Tell me what’s happening?”

  “I can’t.” She wrapped her arms around his neck. “Don’t ask me to tell you.”

  He sighed and slid his hand up and down her back. “I won’t make you tell me, but I am here. I promise I won’t judge you or run away. I know we are not together, but I will not turn my back on you.”

  “You should,” she whispered.

  David leaned back and looked her in the eye. “You’re right. I should. I should have left when I saw you were married and again when I saw your heart belonged to another.” Her eyes widened at his words and her heart threatened to shatter. “But I stayed.” He placed his hand on the side of her face. “I’m going to stay. So let’s quit discussing what I should and should not do. Because no matter what happens, I will still be here whether your heart is mine or another’s.”

  She frowned, unable to speak and stayed still as he leaned forward to kiss her cheek. He left his lips there and smiled as he waded deeper into the water. Jane leaned her cheek against his lips and held on to him. The stubble from his cheek rubbed against her soft skin, and she sighed as he slowly spun them in circles.

  He was so warm. She completely melted against him and looked up at the cloudy sky. “David?” She lightly scratched his scalp.

  “Yes, baby?”

  She shivered and closed her eyes as she listened to the soothing sounds of the splashing water and crickets chirping.

  “Jane?”

  She opened her eyes and moved her lips to his ear. “What if we pretended there was only us.”

  “It is only us out here.”

  “No. I mean, what if we pretend there is no one else between us? Right now I’m not married. I’m not evil. I never met Death… I’m the woman you were looking for, and when I saw you, I knew.”

  “I don’t understand what that would achieve.” His hand rubbed her back a little harder. She grinned and kissed his neck. “Jane?”

  She kissed his jaw. “It would achieve us.”

  His hands gripped her waist hard. “No, Jane. You’re not thinking clearly.”

  “I am,” she whispered, kissing his jaw again, then his cheek. “I need you.”

  David used one hand to hold her back. “Baby, please don’t say things like this. This isn’t you.”

  She shook her head and pulled him closer. “This is me.” He groaned as she got herself close enough to kiss his cheek again. “I’m not her.”

  “This is only you here. Now. As soon as we finish or leave, you will regret everything we shared, and you will push me away.” He sighed and held her cheek again. “I love you, Jane. But I know you do not love me.” His thumb rubbed a tear that suddenly fell. “Don’t take advantage of my feelings for you.”

  “But I do love you.”

  David’s eyes darted between hers. “Please don’t say that unless you mean it, Jane.”

  She held her hand over his. “I do mean it,” she said quickly. “I’ve been stupid. I don’t want to deny it anymore. I love you, David. I need you. I want you. No one e—” Before she could finish, his mouth covered hers.

  Without hesitating, she kissed him back. His hand slid into her hair and tugged so he could angle her better for his kiss. He sighed and sucked her lip before pushing her mouth open. Their tongues touched, and she couldn’t hold her moan back. His kiss tasted even better than his blood.

  David’s chest rumbled, and he pulled her face even closer, kissing her harder. Possessively. She was his and no one else’s. That’s what his kiss said. A sound of acceptance hummed from her mouth to his, and he grinned in triumph against her lips.

  “I love you,” he said, kissing her again. “So much, Jane.” He still had one hand tangled in her hair, but his other had gripped her butt cheek. His lips trailed across her jaw, and he gently sucked her neck.

  Jane gasped, trying to touch him wherever she could, but she only managed to grab the back of his head. He lifted her slightly to kiss down her neck. Being exposed above the water had her shivering, but his fiery kisses and licks down her neck had her warming quickly.

  His fangs scraped her neck and collar bone, and he pushed one strap of her bra down and kissed across her shoulder. Releasing her hair, he cupped her breast, squeezing once before pulling her bra down more.

  “David.” She moaned as his hot mouth instantly covered her nipple. He growled and lifted her higher, still kissing and sucking. Her entire body was shaking.
r />   “Tell me again, baby,” he said, placing a wet kiss between her breasts. “Tell me you love me.”

  “I love you, David.” Her breathing was coming so fast. “I love you. I want you to have me.”

  He bared his fangs but gently kissed her other breast as he shoved her bra down. “No one else?”

  She shook her head and reached for his face to make him look up at her. “Just you.”

  He smiled and claimed her lips again, pulling her naked breasts against his chest as he began walking out of the water.

  A cold solid surface met Jane’s back. She hissed and opened her eyes, realizing he held her against a boulder.

  He kissed her harder, making her go dizzy. Both of his hands slid down the back of her panties and palmed her ass. She felt his erection pressing against her and moaned as his lips went down the column of her throat. “You’re sure, baby?”

  “Yes.” She was, breathless, and she yelped as her panties were ripped right off.

  He lifted his face and grinned, pulling her lips back to his, then adjusted her legs. The back of her ankles met his bare ass, and she moaned loudly as his erection nudged her core. She nearly came undone right there, but she had to look.

  She peeked down and gasped.

  David chuckled and nuzzled her cheek. “I was made for you, my love.” He kissed the corner of her mouth. “I’ll fit.”

  Jane nodded, gasping every time he teased her with his dick. “Oh, God, David.” She clawed at his shoulders, needing him to be inside her.

  “I love you, Jane.”

  Her breath sped up. “I love you, David.”

  He smiled and with a single thrust, he was inside her…

  “Jane.”

  A cold sensation flitted across her lips and down her jaw.

  “Wake up, sweetheart.”

  Jane’s eyes flew open as she gasped. She looked around, confused with her surroundings. She was in the bed at their base camp, covered with a thick blanket. Her damp hair stuck to parts of her face, and she quickly moved them to look down at herself.

  She was wearing David’s shirt, and besides the tingling and wetness between her legs, there was no indication from her body that she’d been intimate with him.